Season 5 Underway

Before drilling into the dirty details of the season 5 opener, I want to remind everyone that a fierce underground tournament was played during the break between seasons. Motown hosted and rode his home-court advantage all the way to victory. It took a legendary suckout against HumpinHorses on the final hand, but a victory nonetheless. We had our first two-time underground participant (heretofore, known as "Chuckles") in attendance and he's joined the DDR league for season 5. Welcome aboard!

I was pretty anxious to get rolling on season 5, ready to start my quest to become the first repeat champion. Katt is once again out, promising to someday return. I really hope he's spending his time watching "Rounders" for some tips, but more likely he's reviewing the incredibly bad and unrealistic poker movie "Lucky You". How they got Jennifer Harmon and Daniel Negreanu to sit for cameo's I'll never know.

SunshinesBitch decided it was time for a new name. Even though he'll always be SunshinesBitch to us (and to Sunshine), he's opting for a different but equally appropriate "Slim Chance". He's been running pretty bad lately and the new name was sure to stop the bleeding and take him all the way to glory.

First to bite the dust was none other than... SlimChance.

I didn't see the hand, but I know HumpinHorses busted him with Q5 against TT. I believe HH was in the big blind - because early in the tournament he's not playing garbage like Q5 out of position. A queen on the flop and another on the turn left the newly annointed "SlimChance" just that... and no T on the river to save him.

Much to the shock and amazement of all, the next guy out was the newcomer Chuckles. Shocking because generally the "new guy" comes in and makes a big splash early, giving them overbloated confidence and real staying power for the league. Just ask DiceMan about his 2nd place finish his first time out of the gate. It wasn't bad play, but an introduction to the enigma that is Coopzilla. We've all been bitten by that snake. With a strong AK Chuckles raises before the flop. Coop looks down at the A3 and says "hey, an ace, I'm in". The king on the flop put a smile on Chuckles' face, but hold on, there's also a 3. Coopzilla has chips in the pot, and a pair - he ain't going nowhere, nohow. Chuckles moves his stack in and Coop can't wait to call. Completely dominated, Coop doesn't even break a sweat because he knows what's next. 3 on the river and Chuckles goes home with nothing but a story to tell, out 12th. Don't worry fella, things will get better (well really, they can only get better).

Motown was looking to ride his underground victory through to this season. With 11 left we were still split into two tables. On a hand folded around to the small blind, DoctorLove limped. Motown, checking his hole cards, sees a promising AJ. Not happy with the cheap flop, he decides to raise enough to scare away any shit hand 'Docta may have limped with. DoctorLove was distracted all night trying to do his nephew's homework over a smart phone, and called without much thought. The flop came down 55A and looked damn good for Motown. DoctorLove checked, Motown fired a pot sized bet, and the 'Docta comes back with a surprising "All In". Motown calls quick and gets shown... 53s. Ouch! That's a pretty brutal blind vs blind. Motown is down to a few chips and CMoney takes him out on the next hand with K9s vs K2s. Gone in 11th.

DoctorLove continued his dominance of the red table by dropping Dice Man in 10th place when his 77 flops a set with A57 and Dice Man pushing with his bare ace. We're down to 9 and heading to the final table.

The action heated up quickly with everyone's eyes on the $50 bounty sitting in front of HumpinHorses. TheCanuck raised preflop and HH went all in over the top. Mojo pushed behind, hoping to take the bounty, and TheCanuck had dollar signs in his eyes and called as well. They flipped the cards over and Humpin was looking great with QQ vs Canuck's A8 and Mojo's pocket 5's. First card off the deck was an ace and TheCanuck ends up winning the main pot. When the chips were counted down, TheCanuck had T100 less than Humpin, so he stays alive taking the T200 side pot. On the next hand Humpin was forced to put his last 200 in the pot and got plenty of action behind him. Four people saw the flop. TheCanuck bet again, but this time Coopzilla wasn't slowing down and pushed over the top. I folded my small pair and the cards were turned up. Coop had only AK, but it was better than Humpin's K8. I was cursing myself for throwing away my A2s with the 2 on the flop. Until of course, the board came runner-runner QJ to give Coop a straight. Coop takes the bounty and a nice pot, HumpinHorses out in 9th. Note that Coop also took down the $20 deuce deuce bonus, netting him $70 already which was better than a 4th place finish in the tournament.

StillNotFat was staying pretty quiet so far, biding his time, trying to make good decisions. He doubled up on a hand I can't really recall, and was poised for a decent comeback. At this point, one of the bigger hands of the night started to develop. I looked down from early position at two black aces, my first big pair of the night. Blinds were 500-1000. I put out an enticing 3500 hoping someone would bite and re-raise - or at the very least get me to the flop with a single opponent. StillNotFat pushed almost immediately with about 9,500. I was happy at this point, but the fun was just beginning. MiniMuth flat called the 9,500 from the small blind - a pretty weird play from that position given I was behind him with a mountain of chips. The big blind folded and my chips all went in as fast as I could push them out there. With nearly 30K live and another 20K of chips on top, the 50,000 pot was hard to resist. Mini started talking - and I've learned to love when he talks (more on that later). Something about "you guys don't even have pairs, my pair is good, you wouldn't do that with aces." Blah, blah, blah. I honestly don't think there are a lot of hands other than aces I'd make that play with - which is maybe what confused him. He finally laid his hand down (turned out to be 88), and StillNotFat shows me KK. Brutal timing for a guy who just came back and was ready to make a move. Nothing scary came and my stack climbed to 50K. StillNotFat out in 8th.

In another completely sick twist of timing, Mojo woke up with KK three or four hands later, and pushed over the top of MiniMuth's position raise. Mini called happily and showed the two red aces. Unbelievable to have AA vs KK so soon after it just happened. Mojo was shellshocked and barely watched the board, and made a quiet exit in 7th. Brutal, brutal timing for both these folks.

Things slowed down quite a bit, as people could smell the money approaching. I continued adding to my stack and was the chip leader, but not by a bunch. MiniMuth had me nearly covered, and Coopzilla had a healthy stack. Unfortunately for him, his stack was about to become my stack. I was riding a nice wave of good cards and raised for the third straight hand with ATs. Coopzilla came along, as did MiniMuth. The flop came AQ4. I decided to bet 2/3 the pot and get a feel for where I was. Coopzilla soon answered, pushing over the top for another 24,000 or so chips. Mini ducked out quick and I had a relatively easy decision. With around 60K chips this wasn't quite half - it would hurt if I was behind but not put me out. I called, announcing "one of us has kicker issues." Turns out Coopzilla had kicker issues showing a weak A7. No help comes and Coop hands a big pile of chips over to yours truly, and now I'm really in great shape. Coop out 6th (with better than 4th place money to show for his efforts).

With five left, CMoney had almost all the money. With 124,000 chips in play I had more than 80,000. Jodizzle has been working on her short stack game, and understands the value of suited connectors. Remember all you pretenders who like to push with any ace short stacked, you're probably going to be called by a better ace. With 98s she saw a spot to make a move and pushed. DoctorLove, who hadn't played a hand since Jaguar Paw survived the eclipse (bonus points for nailing that reference... anyone?), called the last of his chips after Jodizzle moved in. He showed a strong JJ, just the kind of hand 'dizzle didn't want to see. But, with the 982 flop, Jodizzle was in great shape, and the 8 on the river filled her up. DoctorLove out 5th on the bubble.

Down to 4, and in the money - chip stacks were approximately:

CMoney - 70K
MiniMuth - 25K
Jodizzle - 20K
TheCanuck - 12K

TheCanuck, showing uncharacteristic patience all night finally makes his stand with AT. MiniMuth calls from the big blind with 55. The pair holds up and TheCanuck busts 4th for $60.

I started bullying the table a little, taking a few of Jodizzle's blinds, taking a few walks from the BB. After a few rotations three handed I get 66 in the big blind. Jodizzle pushes all in from the button and I don't have a lot of choice. She could do that with a huge range and a pair is really strong here. I call and she shows A8, in great shape with a coin flip. The coin flips my way and Jodizzle busts in 3rd for $90.

As the heads up match begins, I have about 4.5-1 chip advantage. Three hands in I decide to try to end it, much to the confusion of MiniMuth. He pushes with AQo and I call with 76s. He's confused - but check it out - I'm going to win 41% of the time. With the chip advantage and high blinds, I'm more than happy to call here with a chance to end the tournament. The AQ holds up and MiniMuth has a bunch of chips.

We jockey back and forth for around 15 hands, stealing blinds, pushing flops - waiting each other out. With blinds at 2K-4K the hand of the night developed. To truly appreciate how this hand was played by both of us, you'd need to be there. With somewhat even chip stacks (I had him by 11K), I got JJ on the button (small blind). I min-raised to 8K, which was the general pattern. I was hoping for a re-raise. He thought about it, but thought better and just called. The flop came down KT3. Heads up, this is a fantastic flop for JJ. I'm probably not getting away from the hand unless I am more than 90% convinced he has a K.

Mini checks. Without hesitation, I bet 10K. Trying to make it look like a continuation, but also wanting to define his hand. This is where things got interesting. He starts talking. And talking. And talking. Lots of "you wouldn't do that with a king. You don't have a king. We probably have the same hand. I bet we have the same hand. You don't like that king." By now I'm a little worried, because this is just the type of talk someone will employ when they actually have the king. He reaches for chips and raises me to 25K. Then starts talking again. I go back and forth convincing myself he must have a king, then realizing he doesn't, and back again. I finally decide to flat call the 15K and see what he does on the turn. He has to act first, so his check-raise on the flop is dangerous if he's bluffing. The turn comes 8. He starts talking some more about how I don't have a king, and finally checks. I can't really see his chips, but I know I can't check here. He'll definitely bluff the river if I check the turn, and I am done with tough decisions in this hand. I bet out 15K, assuming he was bluffing on the flop and expecting a fold. Instead he goes into the tank again and keeps talking. After much deliberation he pushes his whole stack in, another 27K on top of my 15K bet. My final decision was pretty easy - it just took him way too long to push and if he was trapping with a big hand he probably would have gone faster.

I call and he turns over AT for the flopped pair of tens. The river brings no help and the tournament is over... MiniMuth out 2nd for $150 and CMoney, defending league champion, takes down tournament 5.1 for $300.

One final note for Motown - distractions like this can't possibly help. Phones, texting, sexting, Facebook, and SeaGal calendars on the mind means no chips in your stack.




Until next time, when I hope to run into at least a little more competition, keep practicing fools!