Season 3, Tournament 3 : CMoney's Revenge

The tension was thick in Kirkland for tournament three. Scheduled unfortunately in the middle of brackets season, we ended up playing two less than expected. The players had high expectations as Coors Light bottles popped open, and knuckles were cracked. These were 10 men ready for a battle. We’d done this before… we were gonna do it again. I brought another bottle of good luck with me, and cracked it early. Though this time, it didn’t seem to work out for me.

The tourney started at two tables, figuring SunshinesBitch was just going to be late. The black table included Jodizzle, DoctorLove, Meatsock, Motown, and Mojo. The red table had CMoney, Kattaclysm, TheCanuck, Coopzilla, and StillNotFat, (as well as a stack for ‘Bitch.) [Any Red table player should send me their comments for the rebuy period, and I’ll post.]

The black table was the land of rebuy for the evening. First of the night went to Mojo, after a brutal suckout by Motown. In the $25/$50 round, Mojo got AA under the gun, and raised to $200. All folded, except Motown, who called with J7o.

The flop came 76T with two spades, and Motown checked. Mojo bet $250 (I’m sneaky like that… looks like one of those “I had a big ace and missed” bets.) And Motown got hooked like a fish. (To be fair, Jodizzle did too… she admitted her misread immediately after the hand ended.)

Turn came the 4 of spades. Motown checked it down.

Mojo bet out $700, and Motown decided to get tricky. Saying under his breath “Lets see how much you like ‘em”, Motown fired out a raise well over what Mojo had in his stack. Mojo instantly called, as he had the Ace of spades. Motown didn’t like turning over his one pair no-kicker-no-flush draw.

Yet, in the funny way the poker gods like to work, DoctorLove flipped over the river card to show a 7 and Mojo was sent to rebuy-town.

All in all, Mojo got run over by the deck during the rebuy period (Kings twice, Jacks, Aces twice, AK three times, etc…), and built up a very nice stack which subsequently petered out over the remainder of the tournament.

Meatsock ran into the wall three times at the black table, running into almost everybody, but always having the bad end of it. Occasionally, he made calls that could be best described as “suspect.” Please direct all “for dummies book” donations to Jodizzle, our resident charitable person. Not because he’s a dummy at all… just because sometimes it might not be obvious that you shouldn’t call off ALL your chips with middle pair no kicker.

{Edited 3/30: Mojo } New thought, college basketball may need to be banned from the television while poker is being played.
After the break, we joined the tables up immediately, and played for a whole round before first blood.

In the 200/400 round, Meatsock proved to be no match for Coopzilla. A 6 way hand pre-flop brought a QJ6 board, with two spades. Mojo opened the flop, betting out 1500, to which Meatsock immediately (and out of turn) called. Forced to take back his bet, Meatsock again immediately called Coopzilla’s semi-bluff raise to 3K. Knowing better hands when Mojo sees them, Mojo happily folded QTo. The turn came a K, and Coopzilla checked, expecting a bet. Meatsock didn’t give him the satisfaction, checking down to see a river 7.

Coop bet 5K, enough to put Meatsock all in. Meatsock made a virtually-forced call with QJ, and was brutally shown the door by Coopzilla’s T9, making a K high straight. Once again, we had Meatsock leaving early.

Coop couldn’t keep his chips long though, losing two all-in battles (one brutal one to the Canuck, who sucked out on Coopzilla’s kings), and he was left with a meager stack. However, fate had a different plan.

Down to his last 1500 chips, Coop flat called the $400 blind in early position. (For all aspiring poker players out there, never do this.) A call behind, and DoctorLove decides to pop it up to $1200, and CMoney calls behind. ‘Zilla naturally pushes the rest of his money in, and CMoney and the LoveDoctor call the remaining $300. Both checked the hand down, but the flop contained a 6… and Coop sat pretty with 66 in the hole. Within two hands again he went in, against Motown, and again he prevailed. It would not be an early night for Coopzilla…

It was at this point CMoney began a rampage of hitting hands that even Mojo couldn’t stop. His first victim was his cherie amour, Jodizzle. Raising pre-flop to 1200, ‘dizzle, DoctorLove, and Mojo all called (I had 95s, so I kinda wanted to rub CMoney’s nose in it.)

Flop came AcTd9d. CMoney bet 2000 into a 5500 flop (suspicious maybe?) and Jodizzle was the only caller. In a daring display, before the turn card was flipped, CMoney pulled a beautiful all-in blind maneuver that was immediately topped by Jodizzle’s surprising insta-call. CMoney showed AT, top two pair, and Dizzle showed AJ of diamonds. But, as the turn and river cards fell, neither a Jack, nor a diamond came to save the young lady, and tying her worst showing ever, Jodizzle was out at 9th.

The rounds went faster, and Mojo’s run of the deck had come to an end. In the 300/600 round, Mojo had to make his stand with AJo, running into both CMoney and Motown who both had hands to play with. CMoney raised to 2x in early position with K9s, and Motown called with AQ. Mojo pushed his 7100 stack (much dwindled from missing too many flops) and got exactly what he wanted… CMoney called with the worst hand, and Motown folded the best hand.

The flop dropped a Q on the board, and Motown cringed… but then the turn dropped a King, and Mojo was the one cringing (also practicing his pronunciation of the word “horseshit”.) The river blanked and CMoney took down the $54 bounty, and Mojo was out in 8th place.

And so began CMoney steamrolling the table, systematically taking out all remaining DDR players, except Kattaclysm, who immediately after Mojo’s departure, walked square into StillNotFat’s pocket Jacks with 7s. StillNotFat caught a Jack on a J 96 flop, but Kattaclysm caught a gut shot draw with an 8 on the turn (he’d have won with a 5), but the river gave no help, and Kattaclysm went out in seventh.

StillNotFat and TheCanuck traded shots at each other, while DoctorLove blinded himself down with his “I just don’t give a fuck” style of play. However, Lady Luck decided to repay CMoney a visit, and dole out what can only be described as “a fuckton of good cards.”

CMoney got the best hand in hold ‘em (for the Canadian, who seems to be confused on the subject, that’s AA) and {edited, 3/30 Mojo} limped in early, trying to catch the Canadian in one of his "super raises." Naturally, it didn't work, and DoctorLove saw a free flop from the big blind with KQ. The K flopped and DoctorLove pushed all in to CMoney's trap, and just like that, no more Love. The good doctor left in 6th place, and got setup on a hand where CMoney wasn't even thinking about him at all.

A slight pause in the action for a quick math lesson:

The deuce-deuce bonus pays out $20. The buy-in to the tournament is $20, and our average is near 3 buy-ins a player. If you buy-in to the tournament the average number of times, and only win the deuce-deuce bonus you actually LOSE money as the buy-ins have totaled $60, and you’ve only won $20. At the end of the day, you’re looking at a $40 loss…

This math lesson is brought to you by TheCanuck’s third grade teacher. Please make better use of it than he’s done.

I jest only slightly at our French Canadian friend, who seemed to lose all sense of reason, and shoved at every chance he had with 22. He took two chances, and he lost both times. Once as a massive dog to Motown’s TT, and luckily only as a coin-flip against Coopzilla in a silly hand that Coopzilla didn’t even realize he’d won.

The beautiful thing about TheCanuck’s habit of shoving with the ducks is his sheer tenacity with it. He’s dangerous and a little annoying for it. TheCanuck can win.

However, Coopzilla took 90% of his chips, when Coopzilla called TheCanuck’s all in with KQo. The flop came Coopzilla friendly, JT4, giving him over card and straight draws. The turn didn’t help, and it looked (to Coopzilla, who has a tough time seeing 5 cards that are in a row) like the river 9 didn’t help either. Yet King through Nine is, in fact, a straight, and in poker a straight beats a pair.

Two hands later, CMoney took him out in a birthday vs. AT roller coaster… the flop came 9d8h7h, giving CMoney the lead and TheCanuck an open ended draw. The turn dropped the T of hearts, giving TheCanuck the lead, and CMoney a flush draw. The 4 of hearts sealed the river, and TheCanuck took a respectable 5th place.

Motown had been quiet for nearly a half an hour, tying his personal best, when it became apparent that someone was going to need to go out. His stack had gotten short, blinds were high, and he needed to make a stand. He picked up 66 and decided to rock and roll. With great thought, StillNotFat attempted to throw CMoney out of the hand, and pushed all in with ~30K over the top of Motown’s 11K raise! CMoney made a great call, with AQ, dominating StillNotFat’s AJ.

The flop came 8K8, missing both SNF and CMoney. The turn brought a 7. Things were looking like everything was wrapping up, as Motown begged the gods for a deuce or a four or a six, when an Ace fell on the river, giving SNF and CMoney both Aces and Eights with a King Kicker.

Motown, the saddest man in poker goes down in 4th as StillNotFat and CMoney split up his stack like schoolgirls splitting a cupcake.

Three ways took a full round to finish. Both Coopzilla and StillNotFat bled chips to the big stack, till CMoney came into a dominating position having 75% of the tournament chips in front of him. Eventually Coopzilla made his stand with ATo, and naturally, ran into CMoney who had 66. (Among the 40 other pocket pairs he showed when it was down to three.) Coopzilla hit the T on the turn, but the river brought a 6, and as Coopzilla so brilliantly exampled, “If you live by the devil hand, you’ll die from the devil hand.”

StillNotFat took a fighting stand in a position he’d only seen once before. 2nd place. But CMoney’s chip advantage proved too much for him. Though he played well, CMoney had nearly 85% of the chips, so the poor guy didn’t have a chance. It was like watching the ugly puppy at the pound. You know the poor guy is gonna get euthanized. He made his final stand with the Firedrill (K2) and flopped a two, but CMoney with Q6 flopped a pair to his Q, and turned a second pair with his 6.

On one hand, you have to be amazed at the single dedication it took CMoney to go through the remaining players. 6.5 players (granting half a point for Motown, due to the tie with StillNotFat) taken out by one guy is damned impressive. I should know... I've done it before.

On the other hand, it’s CMoney, who nobody really WANTS to see win, just because he’s so damned good anyway.

On the other hand again, CMoney pretty much loses all rights to “whining about never winning” now, which is actually pretty damned nice. Also, we get to pounce on his ass for the bounty again, something that hasn’t happened in over a year, and even then, it was dumb luck that he drew the high card for it. So, let’s all just make sure it doesn’t happen for another year!

From a points perspective, the top two (Mojo and ‘dizzle) didn't change, but Coopzilla with his second 3rd place finish made a nice big jump into third, and CMoney, with his first top showing jumps into the 4th leader spot. The championship standings are now a great deal more competitive, with 8 folks over the 300 point mark. Mojo’s top place standing may be shorter lived than he’d have hoped.

From a dollars perspective, CMoney jumped up into the second spot, (as he took both 1st place and the bounty) with Coopzilla and StillNotFat up in the named places. Though nobody is quite as large as Mojo (which, as you all know, is what she said.)

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